In the op piece, the author writes about a previous graduate student who had excelled in science then subsequently moved onto a company in which she wanted advice from the author regarding an email she had received from a colleague with a one-sided crush. The forwarded email she had received from her male colleague was:
The author of the op piece, A. Hope Jahren, a Professor at the University of Hawaii, then comments on the nature of sexual harassment, especially in STEM related fields where there are fewer women then men. However, what is most interesting about this article are the comments that it generated. Some of the selected comments ranged from directly forwarding the email to HR:
If I were to have received a letter with those kinds of strong, emotional confessions, this is what I would have probably written:
Hey [Colleague] or Dear [Supervisor]:
Thank you for your email. I was really moved by your sentiments, I was never aware that you felt that way. I think you are a great guy because of [list reasons 1, 2 and 3]. Because of those reasons, I consider you as someone who is trustworthy and honorable. However, I am going to be honest here, but I'm afraid I am not interested in a romantic relationship with you. I am here to focus on my career goals, and I consider you a [friend/ colleague/ mentor]. However, I think any woman who ends up with you will be very lucky.
Colleague or Supervised Person
And if the circumstances were appropriate, I would also add: PS: I am organising a team happy hour next week. Could you help me?
Now mind you, this would be my way of handling any social awkwardness, by approaching it head on as I am not the type to ignore situations or let it fester into awkward passive-aggressiveness or heavily depend on HR to solve interpersonal relationships. I also think it's best to send out an email so the other party can avoid embarrassment after rejection that might occur in a face-to-face meeting. I also think an email response of this nature gives time to the other party to take some time to think about their rejection and save face. In addition, asking for the other's party help in regards to a light social event for the entire team might help to relieve embarrassment and pressure from the other party, so they can focus on something pleasant and not feel humiliated and outcasted.
Truth is, a lot of men have egos. So can women, but historically women have been better at navigating through situations that require emotional intelligence. This isn't to say that sexual harassment doesn't happen, and certainly there exists cases of an extreme or even questionable nature that should be dealt with accordingly. However, I think a colleague who has an one-sided crush should be given the benefit of the doubt instead of immediately jumping on the sexual harassment bandwagon.
Now imagine, instead that I were to send a very blunt email telling the colleague to "back off creepy stalker!" or forward the email to HR which would eventually get back to him. He would probably not only feel rejected, but completely humiliated, and when people are humiliated, they end up resorting to a grudge match or look for revenge. This is basic human psychology. When someone is humiliated, that person will keep an eye out for a time when he or she will get payback. This leads to competition and internal fighting. I think that is why it is always in one's best interest to reject potential suitors and admirers as kindly as possible. Being kind is not the same as being wishy-washy, passive-aggressive and lacking a backbone. You can be strong, firm and kind. Nothing bad ever happens when you take time to be kind to someone.
Onto other analyses, currently the stock market has moved out of consolidation form a week early. This could potentially have two ramifications:
2) End of last week's formation showed a continuation of a bullish trend where the next significant level will be at the 161.8% fibonacci retracement level at 210.41. After this level has been reached, a stronger correction is possible due to a shorter consolidation period and pullback to 198 or towards the support line.
Also, this has been the first time since 2011 in which the S&P and gold have moved out of an inverse relationship:
Again, the gloom and doom predictions by the media a month ago seem to have been all but forgotten, but I would be careful for those hedge funds out there not to buy the top.
By Sierra Choi
[Disclaimer: This post is not intended as any legal nor stock market advice and is for educational purposes only.]